I’m Too Lazy To Run away - Chapter 40

A famous celebrity must have visited the restaurant.

Being able to enter a place this crowded without waiting in line—thank goodness Cha Gil-Do made a reservation. The formal atmosphere kept the noise level down despite the number of guests, with everyone quietly conversing while eating. I felt as if I was being watched now and then, but I brushed it off as my imagination—until I noticed someone sneaking glances at Cha Gil-Do.

That’s when I realized most of the attention was actually on him. Whether he was used to it or simply unaware, he showed no reaction. His straight posture, the sharp nose that looked like it had been drawn with precision, the smooth lines from his forehead to his lips and jaw—he was someone who naturally drew people’s eyes.

I suddenly became conscious of myself staring as well and was about to turn away when he casually spoke.

“The steak will suit your taste. And…”

Cha Gil-Do clasped his hands together and rested them on the table, leaning slightly forward with a faint smile.

“Stop worrying about it.”

Caught red-handed, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

Fortunately, the arrival of our food broke the tension. Several dishes were served at once, far more than last time. Not only fish dishes but also a steak was placed before me. Sitting in a fine restaurant, dressed up and eating gourmet food like this…

‘…I feel out of place.’

The steak was tender, the fish dishes exquisite. Even the soups and side dishes were perfect. But I’d never had a meal this formal before. The only knife I’d ever held was a painting knife, and I was used to instant meals. These refined dishes felt like a challenge.

‘Will I even be able to digest this?’

Honestly, I wasn’t sure.

“You don’t have to force yourself to eat.”

I thought I was acting naturally, but I must have been obvious. Worried he might think I was being ungrateful after bringing me here and buying me a meal, I quickly spoke up.

“It’s just… unfamiliar.”

As the words left my mouth, I suddenly felt how unnatural it was to be holding a knife and fork instead of a spoon. At the facility, I had eaten meat and fish occasionally, but after becoming independent, even getting one proper meal a day was rare. It wasn’t just because I lacked an appetite—money was tight. Tuition, rent, and even the cost of materials and books for my practical studies were overwhelming. If I didn’t juggle two or three part-time jobs, I wouldn’t have been able to manage.

Before I became Baek Eun-Seong, my routine was just going home after work…

That once-familiar routine now felt like a distant memory.

A clinking sound snapped me out of my thoughts. Looking up, I saw Cha Gil-Do had taken my plate and was cutting my steak.

“There’s a lot you’ll need to get used to.”

His voice was gentle, as if telling me there was no need to rush. After neatly slicing the steak into bite-sized pieces, he placed the plate back in front of me. I glanced at him.

‘Is this just how all protagonists are…?’

His effortless kindness, his natural consideration—it was enough to make my heart tremble. Hoping he wouldn’t notice, I quietly picked up a piece of steak with my fork and placed it in my mouth. It was even more tender than the fish. But I kept feeling his gaze on me, making it hard to focus.

The food was delicious, his kindness was appreciated, and the soft classical music in the background added to the strangely exhilarating atmosphere.

I looked at Cha Gil-Do’s plate. Seeing his steak, I wondered if I should cut it for him in return. But before I could act, he calmly picked up a piece and put it in his mouth. He chewed so subtly that, if I weren’t paying close attention, I wouldn’t have even noticed. Every movement was refined, exuding an effortless elegance.

The more I watched him, the more fascinating he became. I felt bad for the actor who had played Cha Gil-Do in the drama—because the real thing had a much stronger presence. If I ever saw a nobleman straight out of an old masterpiece or historical novel, I imagined they would look just like this.

Without realizing it, my artist’s instinct kicked in. I wanted to capture him on canvas.

Maybe it was because I never got to finish painting the ocean—I suddenly felt greedy.

I was so focused on observing him that I didn’t even notice how intently I had been staring, completely absorbed in taking him in.

His jet-black hair shifted subtly under the light, his deep blue eyes reflecting something I couldn’t quite grasp. What kind of ocean did they resemble…?

Thick hands stretched out smoothly, following every graceful movement. My eyes traced each detail without missing a single thing—until, suddenly, a piece of meat was placed into my mouth.

“……!”

Cha Gil-Do had taken the fork I was holding and fed me the meat himself.

The sheer size of the meat made my cheeks puff up as I struggled to chew it properly. I instinctively leaned back, covering my mouth with my hand. As I worked hard to chew, Cha Gil-Do watched me with a bright expression and spoke.

“You were staring like you were going to devour it.”

His words finally brought me back to my senses. I had been so focused that I overdid it again. I hadn’t meant to be rude—I should apologize. But the meat he had fed me was quite large, and despite my efforts, it refused to go down my throat.

He slid a glass of water toward me, silently urging me not to rush. I grabbed the glass in a fluster and continued chewing. I thought I heard a quiet chuckle from Cha Gil-Do, which somehow made me feel embarrassed. As I avoided his gaze, a vibration suddenly rang out.

Bzzzt… Bzzzt…

The buzzing phone cut through the soft classical music, yet Cha Gil-Do only stared at the screen without answering. I wanted to ask why he wasn’t picking up, but I held back, unsure if he would just respond with, “Why does it matter?” Instead, I waited in silence for him to take the call.

His brows furrowed slightly before he flipped the phone over, as if he had no intention of answering. He attempted to resume his meal as if nothing had happened, but soon, the phone vibrated again.

“…Haah.”

He let out a deep sigh, then picked up his phone and rose from his seat.

“Just a moment.”

Taking that as a sign that he was stepping away to answer the call, I quickly nodded, still struggling to swallow the meat. Cha Gil-Do gave a faint smile.

“I’ll be back soon. Keep eating.”

With that, he walked off with his phone pressed to his ear. Watching his retreating figure, I finally managed to swallow the last of the meat and let out a breath. Even after washing it down with water, my mouth felt strangely uncomfortable, as if pebbles were still rolling around inside.

It was because of the look on Cha Gil-Do’s face before he left.

‘Did something happen at his company?’

Since he was the protagonist, he would surely overcome any hardship that came his way… But if I had known more about the original story, maybe I could have helped, even if just a little.

But I knew nothing about it.

The only thing I could say about his future was that no matter what trials awaited him, as long as he was with the female lead, Kang Ji-Ah, he would be able to overcome them.

I rested my chin on my hand and gazed out the window.

Outside, many people passed by. Some families dined at the restaurant, but most of the patrons were young couples. Seeing them gaze at each other with such affection made my chest ticklish.

I felt envious, yet at the same time, I couldn’t understand how people could be so completely infatuated with each other.

What did it feel like to love someone?

I wasn’t someone who distrusted people or was particularly cynical, but I had never experienced liking someone before. More accurately, I had never even had the opportunity.

On a cold winter day, a newborn abandoned in front of a baby box was found just in time by the director and survived. But as I grew older without being adopted, I was moved from one facility to another.

No place ever felt like home.

To a child, an orphanage wasn’t a place to return to—it was a place to eventually leave.

Perhaps that’s why I became so introverted and socially awkward. Not all children in the facilities were like that. So really, this was just a problem with me.

I had never once thought about being lonely before, but suddenly, the thought crossed my mind.

What if I had been a more outgoing person?

What if I had been someone who could bring comfort just by being by someone’s side?

What if I had been more articulate?

Or maybe if I had been incredibly smart…

If I had been even just a little better than I am now—

Then maybe, like those two people in a perfect greenhouse…

‘Would I have been a good match for Cha Gil-Do too…?’

Before I could fully process the thought, I heard the presence of someone approaching.

Assuming that Cha Gil-Do had finished his call and returned, I turned my head—only to find myself leaning back in surprise.

The chair I had been sitting on screeched against the floor as it slid backward.

“Well, we meet again, Kim Do-Yoon.”

Smiling languidly, Oh Yoo-Sung took a seat across from me.